2013 Journal of Amazing Things - Week #30

Things I found amazing this week:

1.  Friends

2.  Family - They didn't get into the picture, but that includes bro Jeddles and SIL-Lan.

3.  Blue Skies - I know a lot of you get to see one like this a lot.  But, around these parts, they're more rare, so you have to appreciate every day you get.  Even when they come with cooler temperatures.

Love Language

Last year I read a book called "The 5 Love Languages."  I know, welcome to the 70's.  Probably many of you have read the book before, but it was the first time for me.  So here are my thoughts on the book plus some good summary thoughts.  Overall, it was a good book.  It was written with a focus on married couples, but the concepts were basic enough that I feel I can extrapolate the concepts to other relationships.  But, if you feel you can't extrapolate, you can also purchase "The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition" by the same author, Gary Chapman.

The basic tenet of the book is that there are five overall categories for how people express love.  They are as follows:

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

The other critical concept is that all people have a basic human need to be loved, and we all have an emotional love tank.  It gets filled up a little bit every time people express love to us in our love language.  When love is neglected, that tank starts to get empty, and usually our behavior is very different depending on whether that tank is full or empty.  Sometimes when people feel like their marriage has lost its shine, it can be because the two people speak different love languages, so their love tank isn't full even though each spouse is expressing love in the way that they know how.

There was one thought that I thought was very key regarding determining what your love language is.  Think about what you usually complain about the most.  If those things revolve around one of the five concepts above, that is probably your primary love language.  Quit complaining and re-phrase it as a request - it's usually much more effective to say, "I would really appreciate it if you _______." rather than criticizing and saying, "You never do __________."  Love makes requests, not demands.  Hmmm.....this seems to have a parallel to our relationship with God, doesn't it?

Words of affirmation - It's not just saying I love you.  It's encouraging someone in a talent they have, telling them they look good today, thanking someone for taking out the garbage, etc.  It's not trying to flatter someone, it's being genuine when you appreciate or like something.  And, it's being genuine and kind when you tell someone that they hurt you or disappointed you.

Quality time - this is spending time together and giving someone your undivided attention.  Therefore, watching TV together doesn't count.  Sitting next to someone while you're on the phone with someone else doesn't count as quality time.  There are several versions of dialects of quality time.  Sometimes it might be doing an activity together like playing tennis, going hiking, or having a quality conversation about meaningful things like thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc.  Being a good listener is key.  Many of us can fail at this one when someone is telling us about a problem, and we automatically assume that we need to analyze the problem and offer solutions when sometimes what the person really wants is for someone to listen and to feel like we have been heard.  Often feeling like we have been heard is enough.

Receiving gifts - The gifts can come in many forms:  Very expensive, free, big, small, homemade, and in many colors.  To someone who has this as a primary love language, the cost of the gift is usually irrevelant - it's the fact that you gave the gift.  If giving gifts isn't your primary love language, then you get to learn about it in order to show love to someone who does have this as a primary love language.  And, don't forget about the gift of your presence.

Acts of service - this is doing things you know the person you love would like you to do:  taking out the garbage, doing the laundry, mowing the grass, making the bed, washing the dishes, dealing with the insurance company, etc.

Physical touch - More than the obvious one of sex, this includes other things like holding hands, hugging, kissing, or maybe just a simple hand on your shoulder.  This goes all the way back to childhood and studies that show that babies who are held, hugged, and kissed develop a healthier emotion life.  This also explains why we shake hands here in the U.S. when we greet someone.  Or, why they hug or give a kiss on the cheek in other cultures.  This also helps to explain why hugging someone during a crisis can be so helpful.  Even if you have no words, a hug helps to communicate love.

The other chapter I found very interesting was called "love is a choice."  Basically it says that love isn't just a feeling of being "in love", it's a choice to do something to speak someone else's love language to make them feel loved.  This includes doing things we do not particularly enjoy because we know they are important to the person we love.  This also includes loving someone who is unlovely.  We can choose to take actions to show them we love them.  That's also how we can fulfill the verses in the bible about loving our enemies.  God can help us make the choice to love someone that is not showing us love in return.

And yes, being the nerd I am, I can still put some logic into the topic of love.  I took the "learn your love language" quiz.  Once last year when I read the book, and once this week after a discussion with a friend about this book.  I took it a second time out of curiosity to see how consistent the results would be and if this is really an effective quiz.  The results are below.  Based on this, I think this means I'm bilingual between quality time and acts of service.  The importance of words of affirmation and physical touch are about equal, and gifts is trailing far behind in importance.  I would say this is fairly accurate based on what I know about myself.

What is your love language?

Funny Friday

Uncle Bex mentioned Weird Al Yankovic earlier in the week, so I've been enjoying listening to some Weird Al this week.  Most of you might get a kick out of his Amish Paradise song.

As long as I'm giving you interesting links, check out this "35 Things Every Engineer Has To Deal With In College."  Several of them are for sure true.  #30 is familiar, although I usually didn't have a crib sheet quite that crowded.  I for sure did #31 the spring of my junior year when I took 21 credits of engineering, math, and science classes.  I think that was the semester that Macroeconomics was my easiest class and I had four or five finals on the same day.  #28 really cracks me up.  I didn't have a table at the library, but I did have one in the EE study area.  #25 is totally true.  Check mark on #4, #7, #17, and #23.

As I walked out of work this evening, I saw two blue herons flying in the sky above the trees.  Awesome.

Uncle Bex also sent me a link for this quote:  "I tried to be normal once......worst two minutes of my life."  According to one website, that's a quote from Ziad K. Abdelnour in Economic Warfare: Secrets of Wealth Creation in the Age of Welfare Politics.  Uncle Bex must have thought it was applicable to something, but I haven't figured out what yet.  :-)

 That's all for now.  Have a great weekend.

2013 Journal of Amazing Things - Week #29

Things I found amazing this week:

1.  Fire - Heh heh....heh heh.  This is what happens when you throw two cups of fuel oil on a fire.  The heat wave and flames were very impressive.

Theories and Stuff

I'm waiting on a photo to arrive by e-mail before I discuss amazing things, so in the mean time I will tell you about an interesting discussion I had at work today.

My group at work had an "open house" where the various factions in our group had tables and products that we used to showcase all of our work to the rest of the people in the company.  Historically my company is mostly "metal-benders", so sometimes we need to help educate other parts of the organization about electronics.  As part of that, I ended up having a discussion with the global lab manager of our group.  He gave a very interesting perspective.  He said that the success of the products we produce is a reflection of the relationships of the people involved in the project.  I think to some degree he's probably right.  Within that context, he said the concepts of abuse, enablement, etc. apply to the working relationships in the company.  Interesting food for thought.  By accepting bad behavior and poor planning in the work place and trying to "cover" or compensate for that, are we further enabling that behavior?

The winds this evening have been at North Dakota-like levels.  Swimming is not advised today due to the strong rip current.  Softball tonight was a dusty and somewhat tricky affair.  It was also disappointing because going into the bottom of the last inning we were ahead by at least 5 points, but then we gave up enough runs to lose the game.  Sitting in my office here, the wind is howling outside like it's winter.  And.....it's a full moon tonight.  Speaking of full moons, my cousin was telling me that as a high school teacher she can always tell from her students' behavior when it's a full moon.  My roommate in college who was a CNA said she could always tell it was a full moon from the patients' behavior.

All for now.

A Good Day

Why was it a good day?  Work wasn't all that productive.  I felt very interrupted and distracted today, but other things make up for it.

We had a good BS tonight.  Don't you love it when you go to BS, and it seems like a whole bunch of people speak right to you?  Our study tonight was in II Kings 23.  It's one of the chapters about king Josiah and all he did to set a good example in Judah.  As we'll read next week, after his reign, there were 11 years of more evil kings, and then the children went into captivity in Babylon.  I have to tell you all that back story because the thought tonight that I found particularly nice was that it's very likely Daniel and his three friends would have been children during part of Josiah's reign.  So, they probably had a good base during Josiah's peaceful reign to work off of during the 11 more evil years and during their captivity.  The lesson to me was that we need to be building our own good base while possible.

On to more mundane things like the air conditioner.  It was pretty sweltering in my house yesterday when I got home from work (it was over 90 yesterday), so I decided to turn on the AC because it was so hot - and because I figured the house would need to be cooled down before BS tonight.  The first time this year.  I tried to turn it on, but no luck.  The thermostat downstairs said it was something like 83 when I went to bed, and it's usually a good 5-10 degrees warmer upstairs where I sleep.  Whew!  It was kind of a restless night, needless to say.  Thankfully there was a service man available today to repair it so that we could study tonight in relative comfort (I mean, I didn't go crazy and turn it down to 72 or anything).  This of course doesn't set any records.  It's not as good as 2008 when I didn't turn the AC on at all.  But, it's later than 2011 when I turned the AC on in June.

The reason for the issue with the AC was varmints getting into the condenser unit and chewing through some wires.  This has happened before, and shame on me for purchasing moth balls last fall and not making use of them.  This is the price I pay for laziness.  What I would like to know is why it says on the package of moth balls that you shouldn't breathe the fumes.  Isn't that the whole point?  You put them in a place where they give off gases and deter moths and other varmints?  How can you not breathe any of the fumes from them?  I would also like to know how you're supposed to store moth balls if you're trying to keep them for later but you had to open the package to put some in your AC condenser unit.  Maybe some of my more experienced readers can help with these burning questions.

And finally, a link to an interesting video on bear hunting in Canada.  It's 13 minutes long, but was interesting enough to me to watch the whole thing.  Bears make some very odd noises.  The only thing I object to is whoever posted the video doesn't know the difference between the proper use of it's and its.

Later gators.

P.S.  If you think I travel like a crazy person, you should meet my parents some time.   Sometimes they do stuff that I think I'm too old to be doing!

2013 Journal of Amazing Things - Week #28

Things I found amazing this week:

1.  Price Paid for Freedom and Liberty.  We're thankful for those willing to die for natural freedom and liberty.  How much more for one who paid the price for spiritual liberty?

2.  Old Ships

Flat MelBMarvis

Let me introduce myself since you'll start to see more of me in the future on this blog.  My name is Flat MelBMarvis.  I've been the germ of an idea of 3D MelBMarvis for several years (inspired by my cousin Flat Stanley), and I finally came to life when 3D MelBMarvis was on vacation in Guam and Saipan this year.

My most recent adventure was up to the UP where I was able to see the Mackinac Bridge.  Sometimes 3D MelBMarvis forgets to take me along on her trips, but she's getting better at remembering.  When she gets tired of being in all the photos, then I step in front of the camera lens.

Check out some of my travels so far this year!  I made my debut a couple weeks ago on the blog here.

At my birth in Guam.

My most recent adventure to see the Mackinac Bridge in Michigan.

Da You Pee on the 4th

My 4th of July was very enjoyable.  I hope yours was the same.  It didn't involve any fireworks unfortunately, but everything else was great.  Uncle Bex, Jax, Jenx, and I went up to Da U.P., eh, to go camping for the weekend.  We did a couple things the same as last year, but there were some different things too.  Shax did not join us.  Here are the highlights:

1. Quality road trip discussions with Uncle Bex.  Like my sister, it's fun to hang out with her because she laughs at my jokes.
2. Creative s'mores - because someone brought three boxes of graham crackers, all of them stale.  If you have not tried dark chocolate on your s'mores ever, you need to do that.
3. Kayaking Pictured Rocks.  Highly recommended!  (Kermit didn't get to make the trip though.)
4. Eating a pasty for the first time.  Said past'-y, NOT paste-y.  They were delicious.
5. Campfire cooking.  We ate high on the hog.  Including our sandwich lunches.  Pork chops, chicken, potatoes, corn on the cob, squash, sweet potatoes, popcorn, etc.
6. A refreshing swim in Lake Superior.  It was warmer close to shore where the water was really shallow, but out where it's deeper it was allegedly 44 degrees F.  And it did feel pretty cold.  I looked in the abyss - hopefully it didn't look into me too much.
7. Lots of waterfalls to see.
8. A couple small, leisurely hikes.
9. A nap on the grass or picnic bench.
10. Fellowship with friends.
11. Uncle Bex and I were HMSes - we tried to get to meetin' Sunday morning, but no luck, so we had to have meetin' in the car with just the two of us.
12. A phrase that totally cracks me up - not sure why I find it so funny - I think it's mostly the visual that goes along with it:  "Punch myself in the ovaries."
13. Itchy mosquito bites.  What else would you expect from the UP?
14. Making Uncle Bex guffaw at length with "Goodness, it's Saturday night" as I changed the radio station.
15. Crossing the Mackinac Bridge for the sixth time in the space of one year when I had never crossed it before the previous year.

Now for the illustrative part of the trip.

Who cares if the water is cold?  There are other advantages.

Jax, Jenx, and Bex Chillin' and Grillin'

Substituting for graham crackers:  Rice Krispie bars with peanut butter.  Delicious.

You can see why they're called Pictured Rocks.

Jenx and Jax paddling it up on the lake without a rudder (but they did have paddles).

Uncle Bex getting ready to go underneath Lovers Leap.

Lunch stop view in addition to beautiful Lake Superior.

More beauty.

The waterfalls we saw:  Wagner Falls, Miners Falls, and Munising Falls.

Jenx and Jax at Miners Castle.

One must needs stop at the Falling Rock Cafe and Bookstore.  Good ambiance, ice cream, and fruit smoothies.

The swimming hole.

Goofy!  This is the closest I got to my "I'm falling off the cliff" picture for the trip.

Pasty.  Beef.  It's what's for dinner.

What I learned from Dad:  It ain't real camping unless you bring your pliers.

There's something I'm not clear on:  what is the speed limit in the campground?

2013 Journal of Amazing Things - Week #27

Things I found amazing this week:

1.  Good Friends

2.  Rock Formations

2013 Journal of Amazing Things - Week #26

Things I found amazing this week:

1.  Fresh Berries - I think these are mulberries, although people at work also called them sugar plums and dew berries.  All I know is that they're delicious.  Picked and eaten the same day.  Mmmmm....mmmmm.....mmmmm.