Another Leftover

Amendment to the Boston trip:

Seen on a T-shirt there:

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.

That is all.  Have a great Labor Day weekend.  I expect to be doing the same.

2013 Journal of Amazing Things - Week #34

Things I found amazing this week:

1.  Fresh Produce - I don't want to give too much away about this past weekend, but let me say that we ate some good stuff grown locally.

 

2.  Good Massage - I may not have mentioned this previously, but my favorite massage therapist at the chiropractor no longer works there, so I've been in search of a good massage therapist in the area again.  I had forgotten how amazing it feels to wake up in the morning and not feel like your neck muscles are about 80 years old.  It also feels good to have looser calves and hamstrings.

Culture Change

I was in training for a day last week, and the training was focused on how we need to change the culture at work, and what we need to do to help with that effort.  The training was decent and I agree with most of the stuff we learned, but I think it will be slightly awkward to put it into practice.  Anyway, that's not the point of this post.  The point is to discuss a few interesting things stated during the training.

"Leadership is the art of motivating people to achieve more than the science of management thinks is possible."  According to the presenter, Colin Powell stated this.  I was not able to verify from an independent source if he truly did say that.  But, for me this quote rings true.  Often leaders have a "quality" about them that is difficult to define, but they truly are inspiring others toward a common goal, and inspiring them to do more and give more than they think is possible.

Also interesting was the concept of beliefs.  Often our beliefs are based on experiences, but a belief does not have to be based on experience if we've heard other people tell enough stories about something.  And apparently, it only takes two experiences to create a belief.  It takes many more experiences to invalidate a belief - like somewhere between 7 and 10 allegedly.  I do not know what study they are referencing to state this - maybe it's just an urban legend/belief too.  :-)  In addition, once people have a belief, they try to validate their beliefs, not invalidate them.  This is likely one of the main reasons that politics is so crazy.

The training also stressed taking personal responsibility for things and holding yourself and others accountable (for doing their jobs / keeping commitments / ensuring quality, etc.).  I don't know if it's coincidence or not, but I find it interesting that they are trying to change the corporate culture to hold people accountable for the things they do and don't do while at the same time much of the U.S. culture has a mind set of "it's not your fault - you're this way because of ______ ."  One of the good quotes from the training was, "Reasons become excuses whenever you stop working on finding solutions."  Once again we come to the power of choice - choose to find solutions, don't choose to sit back and shift blame or make excuses.

That is all.  And now, like Dr. Laura used to say (and maybe still does), "Now go take on the day!"

Small World

I work for a large corporation, and the company does have a fair amount of bureaucracy and nonsensical behavior that is typical of a large corporation.  But, what I was appreciating last week is how there is still a "family" feel to the company.  I haven't worked at a lot of companies, so I can't speak for other companies.  But, one of the executives that was new to my company did say once that this is the smallest big company he has ever worked for.  When he said that, he was referring to the culture of the company.

The reason I mention this is because last week at the end of the day on Thursday our department had a small cake reception that was a "going away" kind of party for one of our lab technicians.  He's in the National Guard, and his unit has been deployed to Afghanistan.  It made real again that when people say to pray for our troops, the lab technician is one of those guys there being prayed for.  And, it made me thankful again that there are men and women who are still willing to fight for our freedom and the freedom of others.  This guy has a wife and two kids (ages 8 and 11) at home.  When I talked to him a couple weeks ago, he was mentioning how it's tough to go there and leave his family behind, but then it's even harder to come back and try to acclimate again.  He speaks from experience since he is also a veteran of the Persian Gulf.  At the cake reception his supervisor gave a quick little speech, and he mentioned how he would be praying for the technician's safety.  I overheard several people tell him the same thing, and everybody was also telling him to "stay safe", "keep your head down and eyes open", etc.  It was very sobering and gave me a glimpse into what the people in WWI, WWII, Vietnam, etc. went through as they bid farewell to their loved ones and prayed for their safe return.

And speaking of having a family/community feel to a place, in the last couple days I have realized again that I live in a fairly small town.  Last Thursday at the county fair I saw a female technician from work while standing in line to get a corn dog.  On Saturday as I was waiting for Krix to show up to go see "Shrek the Musical", I saw Jen-I and her family on the bluff hanging out and in general getting out of the house.  Monday at Qdoba for lunch I saw the parents of one of the robotics kids, and then I rode past the same parents on my bicycle later in the evening as I was riding home from volleyball.  Today at lunch as we were walking downtown, one of the guys from the next cubicle over honked at us, and one of the supplier reps also mentioned that he saw us.  It's a small world.

2013 Journal of Amazing Things - Week #33

Things I found amazing this week:

1.  Peaceful Paddles

2.  Wildlife

Piled Up

As you observe from my posts, I spend many weekends traveling.  This sometimes has unintended consequences, one of which is a growing pile of mail that needs to be sorted/discarded.  It usually starts with a small pile that forms during a vacation, and then if I don't get to it soon after, it keeps growing and eventually is so large that it intimidates me and I can't deal with it until I work up my courage.

During one of my recent weekends actually spent around home, I finally got to the mail pile that had been literally piling up since Christmas.  I opened a couple pieces of mail from December and November of 2012.  No joke.  I finally saw my counter again!  To answer a common question I get - no, I don't leave the bills in there.  The bills are easily recognizable, and I sort those out and pay them in a timely manner.  Check it out in the pictures below.  I think this helps explain how a sweet potato majorly sprouted without me noticing once.  It's a little reminiscent of one of my cubicle episodes too, isn't it?  I think the cleaning service will also be thankful that I removed this safety hazard.

Before

After - only a few magazines left to read and/or throw away.

Leftovers

I forgot a couple critical points related to some posts from last week.

First, the trip to North Dakota needs another bullet point:

11.  Mowing the lawn.  You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl.  I don't know what it is, but there's just something special about driving the lawn mower tractor around and singing songs to yourself out loud while you do it.

And, this video seems appropriate related to my previous post about Mars and Venus.

That is all.  For this evening.

Nerd Alert!

Over the last month or two, I've been collecting some "nerdy" stuff - mostly links to nerdy stuff I found interesting or funny.

For example, this song from Weird Al.  I know it's an oldie, but it's also a goodie.

I was in some training yesterday where they were stressing the power of choice.  Maybe more on that in a later post.  Like my manager says, don't be a victim.  See the problem, and do something about it.  Shift your paradigm.  This video is seriously funny, but also sad because there are probably tons of people doing this in less obvious ways every day in their life.

And this interesting website with maps of the U.S. indicating linguistic differences.  For example, how people say mayonnaise.

I saw this advertisement in a magazine by Verizon advertising how they help a kid go to school even when he's too ill to physically travel to school himself.  Pretty cool, especially because it involves robots.

2013 Journal of Amazing Things - Week #32

Things I found amazing this week:

1.  Cuteness  (but I might be a little bit biased)

 

2.  Power in Feeling Secure  (for both adults and children)

Mars and Venus

I'm going to welcome you to join me in the 90's for a few minutes as I review a book I read at the end of last year.  It's called "Mars and Venus on a Date" by John Gray, Ph.D.  He's the same guy that wrote the famous "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus."  The On A Date book is the singles version of the original.  I found it to be very interesting and occasionally revealing.  I had read random snippets of the original before, so not all the material was completely new.  I also found it interesting that the book is old-fashioned in some ways and gives some good reasons for dating rituals back in the olden days.  My cousin recommended that I read this book about five years ago, and I finally found a round tuit, so I read the book.

Here's the basic outline:
There are 5 stages of dating:

1. Attraction
2. Uncertainty
3. Exclusivity
4. Intimacy
5. Engagement

 There are four kinds of attraction/chemistry:

1. Physical - creates desire and arousal
2. Emotional - creates affection, caring, and trust
3. Mental - creates interest and receptivity
4. Spiritual - opens our hearts, creating love, appreciation, and respect

Attraction is the beginning when you think he/she is very nice and attractive, and you try to be at your best all the time.  After a certain amount of time maybe when some of the shine wears off, then you go into uncertainty where you're not sure whether he/she is right for you and whether you want to continue dating.  If you get past the uncertainty stage, then you start to "go steady" in the exclusivity phase.  Eventually that moves onto the intimacy phase, and then to engagement.  After engagement comes marriage, and then you need to buy a different book.  :-)

One thing that I guess I knew but found interesting to read again was that a failed dating relationship is not always a bad thing if you learn something about yourself and what you're looking for in a mate in the process.  Sometimes it's good to know what you're not looking for too.  Part of the secret to having a good next relationship is to pay attention to how the last relationship ended.  If you left the last one feeling resentful or guilty, you have a closed heart, and it's hard to move on to the next relationship.  If we do move on to a new relationship with a closed heart, it will likely be used to deal with unresolved issues from the previous relationship.

Another statement I found interesting was that sometimes even if we love someone, that doesn't mean they are "the one" we should marry, and we shouldn't confuse romance with lasting love you find in a marriage.  Marriage is a choice, and it's not mandated just because you think you love someone.  Lasting attraction must find its source in our souls (usually after we've also been attracted at the physical, emotional, and mental level).  Like most things in life, on the surface sometimes the basic truths seem contradictory.  For example, the challenge in dating is to give up searching for your soul mate, and instead focus on preparing yourself to recognize your soul mate when he/she appears.  Usually, that means getting to know yourself and being comfortable and confident with who you are.  When we are not fulfilled through our work and friendships, then we are attracted to someone who can fill us up rather than someone we can share with.

A concept this books talks a lot about is that after a date, a woman doesn't owe a man anything.  Just expressing that you enjoyed the date or graciously accepting a compliment is enough.  Men are attracted to women who clearly can be pleased.  I think that is something often confused in the modern world, especially with women's lib.  I'm not saying women's lib is bad necessarily, but I think it tries too much to blur the line between men and women and how they think, when the fact is that men and women are different.  Acknowledging the fact that they are different doesn't make them less equal or less capable, it just means they're different.  I think another thing many young women don't realize is that trying to return the compliment or favor right away takes away the distance a man needs.  Maybe you could say it takes away the thrill of the chase or the challenge of doing the pursuing.  This is not to say a woman should never give anything back, but that comes later in a relationship rather than at the beginning.  It fulfills a man to make a woman happy.

In the later stages of dating:  Whilte the wise man continues to offer his support, a wise woman practices asking for support.  When men don't do the right things, it is often because they don't know what to do or they don't realize how important a certain thing is.  Thus, the importance for a woman to ask.  I'm not an expert, but I'm thinking this is where a woman's "he should just know without me telling him" logic fails.  And, I think this one probably extends past dating relationships to all relationships.  People are not mind readers.  If you need or want something, ask.  Do not assume.  I also thought this tied in very interestingly to the "Love Language" book.  Both books advise asking if you need something, not complaining or criticizing to try to motivate someone.  Both books also stress the importance of expressing appreciation if you do appreciate something.  Communication is key to a lot of things.  Both books also stress the power of choice.  In many of these "relationship and improvement" type books I've read over the years, one common theme to me is the power of choice.

Oh, and men are like rubber bands, women are like waves.  Men are like blowtorches, women are like ovens.  Read the book if you want more details as this explanation gets quite involved and probably needs more in-depth explanation than I'm willing to try to summarize here.  I also found it interesting that during engagement the two most important skills of being married are practiced:  the ability to apologize, and the ability to forgive.  Hmmm.....sounds like some other book I read every day.  ;-)

Oh, and of course you shouldn't skip an stages in this relationship sequence because then you'll just have to go back later and do them, which usually involves much more pain and ordeal than if you do them in the correct sequence.  Do not pass Go.  Do not collect $200.  This book also states that if a woman meets a man and feels all four levels of attraction immediately, this is a clear sign that the woman is attracted to the fantasy of the man and not the man himself.  In general, the attraction progression for women is mental, emotional, physical, and soul.  For men, it's usually physical, emotional, mental, and soul.

One thing I liked about this book is that it gave some concrete examples.  It didn't just say, "Give more compliments", it also gave some examples of compliments both good and bad.

Related to dating, especially first or second dates, one key thing to know is that men advertise and women share.  Men are task/job oriented and think of a first date sort of like a job interview where they "sell themselves".  If women don't interrupt or only ask questions about their date, the man will continue to talk and sell himself and become more interested in his topic (himself) than in the person he is on the date with.  Women are relationship oriented.  Therefore, she is more interested and impressed by a man's ability to have a relationship with her than by his expertise.  This doesn't mean there isn't benefit in the man having expertise at something, but it's not the first priority.

One of my favorite chapters is called "why men don't call."  I'll let you read that whole thing for yourself.  I found it very fascinating the different logic that men and women use.  Oh, and men love a woman with a smile.  Interesting.  And, even if women think they are from Mars, they are still from Venus.  This is a common malady among strong, independent, assertive, and successful women.

This brings me to a Dilbert comic that I saw in the paper the other day when I was in North Dakota.  I liked it because it involves robots and relates to another book I'm currently reading about technology and relationships.  But, I thought it was kind of appropriate related to the discussion on successful women and why they sometimes struggle with dating.

That's all the philosophizing that I have for today.  Later peeps.

North Dakota Tripping

Last weekend was special.  I went home to North Dakota to help celebrate my aunt and uncle's 50 years of marriage.  Fifty years.....that's a lot!  They're pretty special.  I grew up 6.5 miles from their place, worked on their farm for three summers, and their youngest son is about my age so we used to get together a lot.  They're also the parents of Betharoni, who is a good friend as well.  I didn't take many pictures at the actual celebration, but here are the highlights and a couple other pictures I did take of the weekend.

1. Seeing all my family except Ananias.
2. Seeing lots of extended family.  Betharoni, Chrissie Poppins, Jimbo, etc.
3. Canoeing with Pops, Muggles, and Brudda Jeddles and his family.
4. Going to the Beckles farm to see the critters.
5. Being a two year old's comfort when she is scared.
6. Seeing family.
7. Seeing family.
8. Seeing family (I have a lot of family).
9. Being disciplined is tough stuff.  My heart broke a little while I held my niece's toy phone until she would say "please" to get it.  She's a stubborn little thing, so it took a while.
10. Good food.  If there's one thing people from back home know how to do, it's good food.

It was baby central at the 50th anniversary celebration.

Three of the four nieces.

Three of the four in a different combination, plus the nephew dog.

Grandma Beckles and two of her granddaughters prepare for the fair.

We drove the gator around a bit at the Beckles farm.

In the County of Door

The next excursion the weekend after Boston was to go to Door County in the cheesy state and do some camping.  I met some good friends there that you've seen before on the blog once or twice.  The trip was short but sweet.  The high points are below:

1. Breakfast at Julie's Park Cafe and at the White Gull Inn (not on the same day).  Both places have very good breakfast.
2. Some biking in the state park and a brief swim in Lake Michigan.
3. Laying on the beach lazily talking about fun topics and serious topics.  And playing some rousing games of Rage and Telephone Pictionary.  Most memorable drawing and phrase:  Becky got bombed on the beach.
4. Morning yoga at the campsite.
5. American Folklore Theater performance - Loose Lips Sink Ships was excellent.
6. Sunday afternoon drive chat with Shax - those kinds of chats are often the best kind I've found.
7. Seeing Brudda Jeddles and his family for a couple hours.  Guess what?  We jumped on the trampoline.
8. Fish boil.  It was cooler than I had imagined in my head.  I figured it would just be something where you watch fish boil in a little pot.  Which you do, but it's a giant pot, and then at the end they make a big fire, and it boils off the fish oil so your veggies and fish don't taste fishy.  It was a bit daunting to eat the fish because there were so many bones.  But, the fish tasted excellent.  It's Lake Michigan whitefish.
9. S'mores that included fresh graham crackers.
10. Last but not least.....fellowship with friends.

 What's a trip without some good pictures?

Flat MelBMarvis was along on the trip to see the Eagle Bluff lighthouse.

Fish boil before the big fire.

 

How many single women does it take to load four bikes on a bike rack?

Jeddles with three of his four chillins.

Jeddles with his fourth smiley chillin.

Shax makes a visit to the duct tape product store.

Tea Party Time

A month or so ago I met my cousin in Boston for the weekend, as you might have been able to guess from a previous post.  We had fun exploring and hanging out (quality time if you know what I mean).  Here are the main bullet highlights plus some photo highlights.

1. Special talks about spiritual stuff and not-as-spiritual stuff.
2. Seeing another cousin and her husband and new baby.
3. Learning about the root cause of the tea party.  Did you know that the tea that was thrown overboard came from a shipping company that had a monopoly on the tea import business in the U.S., and the British government was using that tax to pay salaries of the people in colonial government to keep them dependent on the British government and not be influenced by the colonies?  And of course, the colonists didn't want to pay the tax on the tea because they didn't like being taxed without representation.  Hmmm........sounds kind of familiar......
4. The very thought-provoking interactive Tea Party Museum.  It made me realize again the dedication and bravery of people in those times who believed in freedom.  They also had one exhibit that presented the dilemma many colonists would have had in trying to decide whether it was treason or patriotism to fight against the British government.  We were in Boston around the same time that the whole Edward Snowden thing was going on and there was discussion on whether he was a traitor or not.  Yes, the museum was very thought provoking indeed.  Are there still as many people today who are concerned about freedom and are willing to fight for it?
5. Seeing a couple unique musical instruments...the hurdy gurdy and the glass harmonica.
6. Touring the U.S.S. Constitution "Old Ironsides".  Did you know that boat hull is 18" thick made with live Georgia oak?  Very impressive.  Supposedly the British said they could see cannon balls bounce off the ship, and the ship never lost a battle in the 30+ that it fought in.  An engineer's dream, I tell you.  Too bad we were short on time and couldn't spend more time there.
7. Walking most of the "Freedom Trail" that includes Paul Revere's house, the Old North Church, the site of the Boston Massacre, and the U.S.S. Constitution.  Who knew Boston was so historic?
8. Older architecture - lots of brick buildings, gold domed roofs, brownstones, etc.
9. It's not a trip to New England without a stop at a Dunkin' Donuts, so we had to make a quick stop at the DD drive-through near the airport before I left.
10. Boston is famous for its Duck tours.  We took the trolley tour instead though.

What we saw of the Big Dig - this bridge is part of it from what the tour guide said.  Another engineer dream (or nightmare depending on if you helped build it I'm sure).

Flat MelBMarvis enjoyed the city too - with the statue of Paul Revere and the Old North Church.

On the U.S.S. Constitution.  Cast off the lines, mateys!

The Pichons.

Betharoni and I about to get in on a tea party re-enactment.

The tea party museum and part of the Boston skyline.

2013 Journal of Amazing Things - Week #31

Things I found amazing this week:

1.  Fifty Years - That many years of steady love and marriage.  Impressive.  Given my current age and state, I probably will not reach that milestone myself.  Congrats Palt and Wearl!

2.  Amber Waves of Grain