Politically Incorrect

Yesterday I was a little bit apprehensive because I was afraid I might be responsible for an abortion, but luckily I only had to do an eviction. I'm talking about a robin who built a nest on my house of course.

Since April is the month when "Earth Day" is, here's a little picture showing the hundreds who showed up to protest global warming.



And finally, with Jackie Chan's comments about China and freedom causing an uproar, here's some politically incorrect Asian humor:

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong's have a new baby. The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...

Are you ready for this?

Sum Ting Wong

Because She Asked For It....

...Jen gets it! Below are a few choice wedding photos for her.



As I may have mentioned in my previous post, there was a whole lot of water going on in North Dakota. Below is a pair of pictures to illustrate. One was taken a week ago, and the other was taken last summer in approximately the same place. Guess which is which?

Weekend Whimsies

This past weekend I drove home to North Dakota for the long weekend with a few stops along the way. The trip was good overall with the exception of the little chat I had with one of State-With-The Arduously-Slow-Speed-Limit's finest. I got to see a whole truckload of relatives at my cousin's wedding too. I'm sort of ambivalent about going to weddings. It's not that I dislike going to them, but after the event it always seems like "I spent so much time/money to come here for just a couple hours?" The ceremonies are always nice and all that, but I feel like all I do is say a brief "hi" to everybody there, and the bride and groom will probably only vaguely remember who attended their wedding anyway. Yet I still feel compelled to go to weddings, so I guess somewhere in my subconscious I believe that my presence there will mean something to the bride and groom (likely more presents).

I'm not sure I'll have enough for a list if I give too many more details on my trip, so here goes. Good things about my trek to ND and back:

1. Staying the night with my cousin who always make me laugh (I forget how funny she is every time).
2. Seeing all my living aunts and uncles (and there are a bunch of them) in one fell swoop (some of them more than once).
3. Seeing all of my immediate family in one fell swoop (some of them more than once also).
4. Having my soul fed at Jimmytown Special Meeting.
5. Experiencing again that ND sense of humor.
6. Being morbidly fascinated with all the water there is in ND right now.
7. Seeing how happy my 48-year-old confirmed bachelor cousin was when he got married (you missed your window of opportunity Mo).
8. Listening to an interesting book on CD during the drive. I was quite a good listen - I would recommend it. The name of the book is "Freakonomics".
9. Getting a phone message from my sister with BIL-Dan in the background sounding like a cat saying "Hi Mel". That made me laugh for several minutes.
10. Seeing lots of people at SM that I hadn't seen for a long time.
11. Bonus: ND interstate speed limit: 75 mph!
    

That's it folks. Maybe I'll post a water picture when I get around to downloading my pictures. And yes, I apparently still look like my sister. Even my two year old niece calls me by my sister's name.

Scattered Thoughts

My apologies folks, but I just haven't had much to blog about recently. Everything has been very tame around here, and I've been working on a different computer project quite a bit. But, I was noticing that this year is once again a year of weddings. I thought last year was bad with three people I knew well getting married, but it's only the beginning of April and I already know of four people who will/have tied the knot this year. I'm just noticing that's a lot of people, that's all I'm saying....

In other news, I did some stuff to my computer at work today to try to make it run faster (it's taking 10 minutes to boot up), and it looks like one of the defrag/disk cleanup/registry repairs I did might have corrupted my Microsoft Office Suite files, so now I'll probably have to call the dreaded helpless desk tomorrow morning. There might be a bright side though. Maybe I'll get Office 2007 instead of 2003 now. One can always hope.

And here's a nice little quote I got via e-mail today that made me laugh, and maybe you'll do the same. "I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think."

Mortified Moms

This is for all you parents out there who have had your kids tell someone the truth, but it was only part of the story and puts you in a light that may be less than favorable. I have no idea if this episode is actually true (got this in an e-mail forward), but it sure cracked me up anyway. Read below for the "rest of the story".


(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Losers and Winners

This is in regard to yesterday's post. As I was exercising at the YMCA today, I learned that I am a loser. A line from a movie that was on the television explained it all. "Losers always whine about doing their best, but winners go home and celebrate with the prom queen." Put that way, I guess I'm OK with being a loser since I was whining about doing my best yesterday. I really don't care if I celebrate with the prom queen anyway.

To put things into even better perspective, my thoughts turn toward ND and people who are fighting rising waters to save their home or their neighbor's house. Avis expressed this way better than I can. I'm also thinking of those who lost a loved one yesterday at the good old age of 88 (only a couple days away from 89). Now she was a true winner. Yeah, being yelled at by a trainer at the Y is really no big deal. Next time I'll need to work on having a right spirit during the experience and not just getting it afterward.

That's it for now kids. Have a stupendous Monday!

Another Reason Why I Didn't Join the Military

In addition to my lack of neatness, the other reason why I didn't join the military has to do with not appreciating being yelled at and being told I need to give 130% while exercising. Boot camp would have totally ruined my spirit. First of all, giving 130% is not possible. Second of all, I didn't know this person from Adam.

OK, I'll start back at the beginning. This morning I went to a special "circuit" class they were having at the Y at 11:00 AM. Let's first say that it totally wore me out. Anyway, there were four different stations and thus four different trainers. One of the training ladies rubbed me the wrong way. I'd never seen her before, and her approach to training was not really my style. Most of the trainers tell you to get started and maybe show you what they want you to do first and then even do it with you if enough equipment is available. If you're falling behind they might give some positive encouragement to keep going.

The lady I was not a fan of though started off yelling orders. Sometimes it was hard to hear her, and on top of that she wasn't always very clear about exactly what she wanted us to do. Then, when we weren't doing what she wanted us to do she would yell and tell us to keep going in what seemed to my ears anyway to be a negative tone of voice. She was also the one that said to give 130%, and you already know my feelings on that. Lady, if I'm falling behind and lagging it's not because I'm being lazy, it's because I'm so tired I can't keep up or I know I'm going to injure myself if I continue. Don't tell me to do better and step it up when I'm already doing my best. The other thing was that sometimes she wouldn't do the exercises with us, she'd just stand there and yell out orders.

The moral of the story is that I'm the type of person that responds way better to positive encouragement than negative put-downs and unwarranted criticism. Negative put-downs and unwarranted criticism just put me in a bad mood and make me stubborn and rebellious. Yeah, and exercising in the morning is not my favorite thing to do. I'm trying not to get a bad attitude about the trainer lady. I'm sure she's a nice person and maybe just young and inexperienced, I just didn't see that side today.

Contentment

While doing a medium-long drive this weekend, I had ample time to think and got to thinking about how some people with families or other responsibilities might look at a single person's life and be a bit envious of that life. The apparent freedom to do whatever you want, a little extra money because you don't have kids to spend it on, much easier traveling, time and money to spend on yourself, etc. A single person may look at a married person's life and be envious that you have "built in" companionship at home, a person to split the mundane chores with, a third hand to make some tasks easier, etc.

On the flip side, the struggles of the single life are loneliness, having to do all the chores yourself (without the benefit of a third hand), eating many meals alone, etc. I would guess the struggles of the married life would be trying to find time for yourself while spending so much time caring for others, cleaning up dog, cat, and kid puke and feces, all the work required to travel somewhere, a lack of money due to so many people consuming it, etc.

Anyway, I was thinking that everyone has a lot in life with its special struggles, and it doesn't do any good to be envious of others or to wish yours was different or to try to force yours to be different. Instead, we should trust God and be content with the lot he's given us and do what we can to make the best of it. I'm not saying that we shouldn't strive to better ourselves, but if where we are is where God wants us to be, then that's where we can be content.

For some reason, I haven't had any brilliant blogging repartee come to mind the last week or two, so you'll have to make do with this boring philosophy stuff.

I Bin Tinkin'

I was thinking the other day that it would sweet if there was some place in town that was like a college dining center for people not in college. You know, a place where the food was already prepared and you had a prepaid punch pass and their hours were really convenient and you could make chocolate waffles. Then I realized there is something like that. It's called the Senior Citizen center. Or maybe a restaurant. Yeah, I know. Some pretty deep thoughts from this shallow mind.

What's Hip?

Today I need to hear from all you hip-happenin' people. Or, maybe just some people with fashion opinions. Don't worry, only bad opinions will be ridiculed. See the picture below of the new sweater I bought. As many might guess, of course it's blue. I fell in love with it at the sporting goods store (helped by a 50% off tag), and made an impulse buy a few weeks ago. It's SmartWool brand. 100% wool, but unfortunately the tag says dry clean only.

I've worn it once and must admit it is super warm. It can even take away one of those bone-deep chills you get when it's 30 degrees and humid. The real question is, where and how should I wear this? Is it a dressy sweater only, an every day wear to work kind of sweater, a Friday evening on the town sweater, a Wednesday evening go to bible study sweater, or something else? What type/style of shirt would you wear underneath it? What should I array my lower half in to go with it? Let me know! If you have any tips on how to clean wool that's dry clean only without going to the dry cleaner, let me know that too. 'Course, I really don't need them because everybody knows that "wool cleans itself."

Oddness at the Y

Sam: This is the person I'm playing racquetball against today (referring to me and talking to old guy).
Odd Old Guy (whom I've never seen before): I see. I thought racquetball was a man's sport.
Me: Well, nobody ever told me that, so I've been playing.
Odd Old Guy: I guess you didn't listen then.
Me: It's not that I didn't listen, I just never heard that, so I've been playing because I want to.
A few minutes pass while I stretch and converse with Sam.....
Odd Old Guy: Well you know, the Y used to be a men's club too.
Me: Yeah, I guess it did.
Odd Old Guy: And look what they've done with that now. They went and made it co-ed.
Me: Yes, they did. (I go into the racquetball court then)

If the guy was trying to make a joke, he sure didn't look like he was joking. It was sort of surreal all around.

P.S. Avis, I know I promised a clothing post, and it's coming. Be patient. This incident was too good to pass up.

P.P.S. Eva, did I use whom correctly above?

Annual Tax Rant

This year, I'm actually not going to rant too much about my taxes. Someone recently gave me some good perspective on paying taxes: "That's a rich man's/woman's problem." With the economy like it is, this year I will be thankful that I paid taxes and that I didn't have to take capital gains losses from selling my house for less than I paid for it or something like that. According to my tax program, my effective tax rate was 12.77% this year, which really isn't that bad. A true Republican would say any tax is too much I suppose.

Speaking of highway robbery though, I found out yesterday when I was printing out copies of my tax forms that my printer refuses to print when any of its ink cartridges are empty. It refuses to give me poor quality printing I guess. So, I had to go and buy some new ink cartridges. EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!! Yowsers. I was more irate about that than I was about my taxes.

News and Things

This post has no real purpose other than to share a few laughs that I found when I was cleaning out some e-mails. A more interesting post will be coming once I download a picture off my camera.


I just read that Sarah Palin's Dad has a bumper sticker on his pickup that says, "Vegetarian - Old Indian word for Bad Hunter"

Message From A Cave This Morning

AP New Delhi - This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of convenience store managers, and possible candidates for President of the United States. And if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell and AOL customer service reps, and then Motel 6 managers. It's getting ugly.....

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top quotes in corporate America:

1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)
2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping) ---Mel's comment: No joke, managers ask things like this all the time. What could we have done to avoid this unknown, unanticipated problem?---
3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
4. "This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/ Marketing manager, United Parcel Service) ---Mel's comment: Classic. Everything is high priority! You can only really have one king, people.---
   
5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation) ---Mel's comment: Although not always explicitly stated, engineers hear this one implied and/or directly said a lot. Of course this statement is patently untrue.---
6. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/ 3M Corp.) ---Mel's comment: Party! Time to go work on things you want to work on.---
   
7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

I think I lost #10 somewhere in the email chain or something.

Big Sky Country

As Kristin and Jon guessed and others may know, I took a vacation to the MT/WY area. I flew into Billings, and Anna and I went down to Red Lodge to get some skiing/snowboarding in for a couple days. We were joined later by Megan and Beth. After the downhill activities were finished, we headed up and over to the Gardiner/Yellowstone area for just under 24 hours. To finish out the trip, we did a quick stay in Big Timber. I DID remember my camera this time, and it was a tough task to pare down the three or four hundred pictures to less than ten for this post.

Small glimpse of the Beartooth Mountains

At Red Lodge ski area

Puma/mountain lion we saw at the Beartooth Nature Center. I thought this was cool because I worked on a project at work for a couple years that was called Puma.

The gang's all there

Elk with antlers still on

Sisterz

Good Yellowstone view

Close encounter of the buffalo kind. NOT at the nature center.

Oh yes, and we mustn't forget the list. Items are not in order of importance. Best things about my vacation to Montana:

1. Spending time with my two sisters
2. Spending time with my cousin/sister in spirit
   
3. Meeting a bunch of great people in Montana. Matthew 19:29 has God's promise to those who leave everything to follow Him. I have experienced the flip side of that also - that those who have been left are given something special too. God is no man's debtor.
4. Having it made real again how interesting older people are. They've seen so much change in their life and have so much wisdom, and many of them are still avidly learning and doing at the age of 80 or 90. My friend Avis has a post that is a great example.
5. Beautiful scenery (Beartooth mountains, Yellowstone, and everywhere in between - even Billings)
6. Some great animal viewing - whether in the wild or captivity. (elk, pumas, bison, bald eagle, deer, owls, bobcats, etc.)
7. Lee, Marlys, Leo, Beulah, Della, George, Cami, Cole, Jake, Emily, Lance, Chuck, Shirley...This is kind of a repeat of #3, but that's OK since it's my list.
8. Fresh snow for snowboarding
9. Taking a dip in the Boiling River
10. No airline flight troubles (Yeah, I was running out of ideas. I lumped too many of them together in the ones above.)
    

Stewin' and Brewin'

I'm back from my most recent vacation. No "official" post yet on that. You know how it works. I need some time to get my thoughts in order and my "list" made. But let me just say that it was a great vacation. To hold you over, I thought I would implement a dare/suggestion I was given to post this picture and let my readers guess the location. The rule is that you must be specific. No generic "in the state of xxxx" type of stuff. Name the landmark I'm near, the mountain or mountain range in the background, or the body of water in the background. I call this work of art "Mel in Boots". It kind of goes with my new quote on the sidebar too.

Bathroom Behavior Observation #8

There are two bathrooms on the floor of the building where I work, and the one that is closest to my desk that I use most frequently has been out of order the last several days. They put up caution tape all across the doorway with a handwritten sign that says "Do Not Use". A second handwritten sign appeared today that said "I repeat, Do Not Use" and was signed by the HR lady for the building, so apparently some people can't read. I suspect someone may have died in there or something.

This means that I have to trek all the way to the other end of the building to use the restroom, and when the cleaning people are cleaning that one, then you have to go to the floor below. My life is so hard. The bonus of the other bathroom is that it has way more signs than the one I usually use. Here's a sample of one of them. It's such a drag that I can't eat my lunch in there like I usually do in the other bathroom....

For Back Seat Drivers Everywhere

My two favorite are Quickish and Ooh!

Steppin'

I was going to be stubborn and wait until I got five comments on my sweepstakes, but I decided there was no point in doing that. If my readers snooze, they lose. People can still comment to get a home made item, but I'm not waiting anymore for you slowpokes.

Recently I've discovered the beauty of the exercise classes at the Y. In October they changed their membership fee/structure. My membership fee increased by a few dollars a month, but I can now attend any of the exercise classes for "free". Around Thanksgiving I happened to wander into the multi-purpose room where they were just starting a class, and I decided to try it out. I didn't want to waste my extra membership fee you know.

To make a long, boring story short, I've gotten into going to this step cardio class after work two days a week. It's an hour long, and you have to be on the ball to keep up. It's a great way make the exercise time fly really fast and way better than plodding along on the stair-stepper or treadmill. I also like the challenge of trying to keep up with the instructor. Speaking of which, I wonder how someone gets into being an aerobics instructor. This lady mentioned once during class that she has done personal training in the past, so maybe that's her in. Still, how do you decide to be a personal trainer? I guess you'd have to really like exercise and working with people. Two nights a week this lady teaches an hour long step class, a half hour abs class, and then an hour long weight lifting/toning class all in a row. One hundred fifty minutes straight, that's a lot.

The only drawback to these classes is that I have to try to curb my workaholic tendencies in order to get to class on time. The great thing about this is that it works better with my schedule. If I want, one day I can do a class at 4:30 PM, and the next day I can do one at 7:00 PM if I want. Now the only thing they need are some classes that start at 8:00 PM.

Homemade

I "won" a homemade gift by leaving one of the first 5 comments on another person's blog, and as a result I'm required to return the favor. The first five people to comment on this post will get something made by me. Offer not valid in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico. Some restrictions may apply. Side effects may include indigestion, anger, or laughter. OK, kidding on that stuff. Anybody from the world can get in on this. I will be a rogue and bend the rules and say that even if you do not have a blog yourself, you can still comment and win a prize. Maybe you'll just have to pick five people in your life to give something homemade to. If you do have a blog, you can't cop out and not do this if you comment. The "official" rules of the sweepstakes are:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It'll be done this year. (might be a little while)
4. You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry or an article on properly cleaning your face before a masque. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.
6. The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog.The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me!Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it! So....who will be the first 5 people?
   

FYI: My favorite rule is #5.... Don't say I didn't warn you.

Charity

You know how women have several charities dedicated to disease fighting/prevention specific to women? Like the American Breast Cancer Foundation or the little red dress symbol for the American Heart Association. Well, what I want to know is, "Where are all the foundations for diseases of men?" Maybe since Viagra was invented they don't need any foundations anymore? They should make a "Pros For Prostates" foundation or something. Maybe women are just more concerned about health and feel like they need to form those charities. Or, maybe men are in charge of most of the general public charities and feel like they're doing their part already.