Remote Communication Philosophy
Someone opined to me many months ago that people are more likely to say things on the internet, instant messenger, and e-mail that they would never say in person. I think that is probably true. The question then becomes: Do people do that because there is less personal interaction and they don't think about and can't see how their words will be taken by the other person? Or is it that people are more true to who they really are when they aren't face to face with somebody? Or, are they more likely to lie because they know it's less likely they will be caught when the person can't see their body language? With all these new and less personal methods of communication, will we start to have more and more antisocial people on the earth? Or is the human desire to have personal contact strong enough to prevent this?
I think people still know subconsciously that these remote methods of communication are not a substitute for personal interaction. At work, I work with people from at least three different countries almost every day, and I'm sure all the people at work, including me, would tell you that more effective work gets done when you have met the people you are working with in person. It's even more effective to sit near them every day while you work.
With all the blogs people have started, will this help people stay more connected or less connected to others? I definitely keep up with the lives of people who don't live near me much better if they have a blog. But, I don't see them or call them any more frequently. I just know what's going on in their life. Is that then a false sort of connection with someone? Are blogs a way for people to feel like they have had a conversation with someone when in reality they're only talking to themselves? Kind of like I'm doing now...
My favorite example that illustrates the ridiculousness of all this remote communication is when you see 3 or 4 teenagers in a car hanging out and cruising, and each one them has a cell phone attached to their ear. It's like, "Why are you bothering to try to be near each other if you're going to ignore each other?" By the way, that is one of my bigger pet peeves is when people come to visit you and then spend large portions of their time on the phone not visiting with you. Or vice versa, where somebody calls you and then spends all of their time talking to people in the room with them while you're on the phone. My biggest pet peeve is people who don't know how to listen. Laces Out Dan says that I have a lot of pet peeves, but I'm not sure that's true.
By the way, I don't have any answers to these questions, I just like to stir the "thought pot" every once in awhile.
6 comments:
Mel, you need to check out Conversation: A History of a Declining Art (http://www.amazon.com/Conversation-History-Declining-Stephen-Miller/dp/0300110308/ref=sr_1_9/105-3598311-3622819?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189053240&sr=1-9) A bit dense at times, but if you scan it, you can find some really interesting points and historical perspectives.
My take on the matter? I think that our communication has become much more "information-based" rather than "emotion-based" because people are less trusting of one another (perhaps in part because of the sheer volume of communication and interactions).
This might lead one to believe that the shift to a more impersonal style of communication is more of a symptom of our society's state, rather than a cause of its decline!
I've thought of the same things too, especially for myself I find it easier to communicate on the internet, but also I've noticed maybe a little better at communicating face to face now because of that too though.
I can see the whole know who they are without ever meeting them, but I guess I never really take interest in blogs of people I don't know or haven't met as seems not much of it makes sense to me or something?? Anyways thought I better leave you my monthly comment so you know we're still alive and reading!
Jon (& Sara sometimes too)
I would admit its alot easier to speak my mind and especially for work to be more pointed through emails. I guess I am scared to say something to someones face.
Do I HAVE to answer all those questions??? ;) Well, here's answers to a couple:
"Or is it that people are more true to who they really are when they aren't face to face with somebody?"
I vote for this one. And I think in cases of social internet interaction it's true. As you know I have met some people in person after conversing online. I can report that there is almost always instant rapport.
"I definitely keep up with the lives of people who don't live near me much better if they have a blog. But, I don't see them or call them any more frequently. I just know what's going on in their life. Is that then a false sort of connection with someone? Are blogs a way for people to feel like they have had a conversation with someone when in reality they're only talking to themselves?"
Well, here's a case in point: Last Sunday we were in meeting with a young couple whose blog I have been following closely. They live just down the road from Jay and Bridgette and have two little kids similar in age. So when I see them, I feel like I know them almost "intimately" and they barely know us as an acquaintance! I could make comments on their blog, but wouldn't that seem a little weird to them?
It's similar too with people who do know me a bit better, but not well - like Jess and Lana! :)
Just keep blogging!
~Eva
I had a very similar thought just yesterday- "Do I know people better because I see their blogs and what they've been doing recently, or do I just know what they put on their blog since I don't actually talk to them?" I don't have any answers either! But it doesn't keep me from blogging or reading others' blogs!!
I *do* think that most people are more honest over e-mail or blog because it IS easier to be more frank. There's several reasons why that could be -- fear of confrontation or not being liked or too embarrassed to actually vocalize said topic, etc.
As far as blogs, it is a convenient, nifty way to keep in touch with people. Sometimes you DO end up following people that you don't know, too (Eva :), but I find that people often ARE afraid to say so because they think it will be creepy or something. For the most part, though, I think that the blogger has enjoyment from knowing that someone reads their blog. For instance, I'm pretty sure that I know who Eva is talking about and all I have to say is that this little family is ALWAYS ecstatic when people approach them because they've read the blog and kept up with their life. Amongst the Friends, it's not creepy at all. In fact, I think it's a blast when you put the connections together.
Lastly, I do think that it all makes us more lazy with conversational skills. It's easier to remain in our little bubble and not have to "venture" too far into the unknown. After all, if it's not working or something is disturbing, we hit "delete" or block the sender and life goes on! I don't have any short examples to explain WHY I think this, but I do. I actually think it's been proven somewhere, anyway.
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